Temple of the Dark Moon

hello to the world out there!!! today marks my first day into the wonderful world of Kuantan with the intention to use its shopping mall instead of just passing through its bus terminal. well, i must say its rather large. comparable to klang parade i suppose. everyone from Kuala Terengganu to Kuantan flock this small little piece of shopping haven because it’s the only shopping mall for miles around. just stating the facts…not being sarcastic or anything..hohoho.

well, we went down with the specific goal of watching ‘The Da Vinci Code’ movie. the movie was at 12 we got the tickets at around 12.10. so naturally, miss a little bitsy bit of the start, but no harm done since i already read the book..not much to fear. afterall, the initial part of the film is nothing of a great story anyways.

the final verdict? so-so. the movie is pretty much fast forwarded like any other movie that is based on a book. so the eerie and mystery feel of the movie is pretty much gone. from the movie alone it wouldnt be that much of shaking the very foundations of the Church. i would recommend reading the book. i was glued to it for hours anyhoo.

the symbolism, the cover up thingie… is by theory, based on tangible, observable objects. the part of finding mary magdalene is of course total fiction. and it seems the cryptex is a creation of the author himself and not Da Vinci. as far as history is concern, all the claims in the book… are as of now, nonsense. there is just too much loop holes surrounding all the ‘facts’ the book uses to tell the story of the biggest cover up of modern history.

scholars are at odds on whether Roslyn Church is indeed built by the Knight Templars. although the church itself holds alot of templar symbolism, alot of other mysteries that surround it still remains.. well, a mystery. there is also the very fundamental question as to whether the Priory of Scion even exist. People only found out about the Priory when someone found a stash of ‘Dossier Secrete’ in the Paris Library. how convenient, secret documents just happen to pop out of the blue in the libray eh? however, since there is no way to prove or disprove that the document is not authentic, it shall remain as it is. a document.

and conveniently, inside those documents lay all the information regarding the Priory, from its Grand Masters of the past and the Grand Master to be, to the Merovingian Line and so on and so forth. and most problematic of all, this is the only document in the entire world that suggest what the Priory is doing. no other sources has been found. so your guess is as good as mine.

X-men 3 was right after da vinci’s code. barely had an hour for lunch but made it all the same. for starters… cyclops was dead 5 mins into the show. and final verdict, a so-so show again. jean became an all powerful goddess, the fighting was rather… well, boring. professor xavier died one hour into the show, jean died in the end of the show. magneto lost his mutant powers in the end of show. the stupid winged guy really does nothing for the story of the show. he just exist in the front as some one’s son, and the end to save his daddy from certain death. and the twist is that magneto maybe getting his power back but before he can even move the metal chess piece it was the credits time.

din wanna talk much about a so-so show so there you go. 19 bucks down GSC’s pocket but i got to watch movie at the very least… =})

A letter in the pink envelope,
Came fluttering my way,
Heart pounding high and low,
Board smile side to side.

Bind by ever changing sight,
Eight is your delight,
Bind by never changing sight,
Eight is your demise.

~Drolh Tae Deht~
~Those who live may have already died~

21 ways to get a girl to fall in love with you. 19 things to do to keep her happy. 30 things to do to make her happy. and the list goes on and on and on. let me declare henceforth that im absolutely not against anyone falling in-love…is already in love or want and wish to fall in love. i believe your concept is very important for this world to survive. but then again, ppl in-love, wanna fall in love, already in love sometimes just get on my nerves. just look at the things they post on the net…21 ways to do this, and that and this and that. i mean come on~ this is no TV drama or comic book as you wish it to be~.

i absolutely find postings of what to do to keep her and how many things to do make her happy revolting. it turns my stomach inside out. and quite frankly; L.A.M.E

it will always involve kiss her all the time, hug her all the time bla bla bla… and some post will involve worshipping her as a goddess and that she can do anything in the world and guys should just go with the flow. and not to forget, say yes to all her demands. in a way, these post tell you to do everything in the world for her be it right or wrong. she is lord, u are mortal. it all sounds sooooooo fantastical isnt it? but then again, it wouldnt surprise me if ppl do it… for a period at least. but i detect a very unhealthy sense of ‘love’ and what to do to keep your partners.

first of, the things to do to keep her and bla bla bla. it is in my opinion that such a post is actually degrading female more than glorifying them. why? it enforces the idea of inequality. that women only receive and men only give. and in that way, we enforce the gender role of who should do what kind of chores with the mindset in mind. it enforces the stereotype that women are these unreasonable creatures that must always have it their way or they will rain hell. those actions then translate to actions not done in the name of respect or love… but in the name of a means to an end. those post indirectly objectifies women. they become objects that u can acquire by following the so called set of actions. it’s as if all women are so robotic that these set of rules will keep them. keep them? are women animals or something? no one belongs to anyone in the first place..the word ‘keep’ should never be used in the first place.

second, it degrades the very sanctity to be human. always say yes? are u an idiot that has no conscience? so in order to ‘keep’ your partner u will fore go your opinions and agree? if you really love her would u not want to present your opinions should u find that her ideas or opinions are off the mark? will u let her continue her mistake just because u want to be agreeable and make her happy? I leave those answers to you ppl who post and repost those absurd msgs.

3rd, i have once read a post that a guy should dump his frens and put her as his priority. romantic no doubt. but the greatest flaw in action if i ever saw one. only ppl naive enough would even think of such a course of action. yes, to fall in love is a beautiful and intoxicating thing. i have seen it countless times and must accept that there must be some unexplainable force that meddles the brains. however, that is the point. at the start of the relationship, he or she will be the centre of your universe. and u are content with just him or her with you all the time. after all, its a budding of the rose… everything seems beautiful and perfect.

if you are truly to throw away your friends just to me her your priority all the time, there will come a time when u will regret your actions. expert in relatioships have always warned of such actions. because sooner or later u will realise that u want to hang out with other ppl other than you partner all the time. but if you have dump your friends and make her your priority all the time, then i suggest u be prepared to be dumped as well.

all those post are basically based on a set of ideal relationships. which sadly is never the case. to always give and ask for nothing in return is nothingless of noble and idiocy. have no one ever heard of give and take? and whether u know or not… it is give and take that sustains a relationship. always giving may seem like the perfect thing to do. and yes, it may last for the few couple of months or years maybe… but i guarantee, there will come a time where it will reach breaking point and snap! and what ever happens next; really depend on your maturity to handle the problem. and if your partner only believes in taking and rarely gives… its a tell tale sign that something is seriously wrong.

the greatest hurdle one must address in a relationship is ego. there will be times when egos will be hurt. and whether u will let it go or defend it will dictate the result of a relationship. i have seen many things fall apart because of ego. no one just want to compromise. everyone wants to win. and in the end, everyone went back as losers. sure i have never been in a relationship before. but it is precisely that that allows me to observe with logic and not be influenced by emotional feelings. an observer can see things ppl inside the circle cannot and vice versa.

the last i can think of is communication. not the crap that u two talk for hours in the cafe. communication is able to get your msg across the other side. address problems maturely. understand the other parties needs and sensitivities. that is communication. i obviously cannot tell anyone in the world how to do it. so go figure.

its of course not all bad from the post. touch is one the most powerful sensation for a human being. asians being low touch culture hinders most ppl from touching. studies have shown to touch a human being, it actually releases so much more feel good hormone than sweet talking. don just do it to ‘keep’ your partner. do it because u want to.

Pls keep in mind that this is the REAl world. NOT tv dramas. as idealistic you may wish your relationship to be, it will most probably not be. that is the cold hard truth. there is much more than just hugging and kissing.

well, not exactly since most of us start work at 8, and if u start at nine, u go back at 6. anyhoo~~ almost all of us i dare say will be absorbed into the legions of slaves that will be stuck within this time frame to sweat it out every month. and all your effort every month will translate to a few thousand ringgit. that is how much u are worth in this capitalist economy… get used to it. no doubt then everyone wants to hunt for the grandest paying job. i mean who doesnt? more salary = to more spending power = more income tax~. we want the glamour and luxury we see other ppl have. BMWs, Alfa Romeos, latest technological gadgets and the list goes on. heck, even for a person like me who doesnt even really give a damn about the lastest technological advances wouldnt mind getting those babies.

this i guess is the draw back of being a capitalist. every god damned thing is a commodity. ur time and energy and brains are measured in gold. ur utilites are in gold. and god forbid, love may also be in gold. u work ur ass off just so u get the thousands, while the company earn the billions. bloody hell, what the heck?! and they are promoting ownership bla bla bla. ownership? gimme more of the pie and i wouldnt mind being an owner. day in day out i sweat it out and still i get peanuts. yeah sure there is bonus… i still cant see how that equalizes to make me feel like an owner. maybe if u throw in better working environments like the ones in Shell then i’d be all too happy to change my mind set as an owner. get to play pool, sing ur heart out or just work out in the gym all in a days work. and for heaven sake.. can we do something about our workstations please??? doesnt anyone feel like its a prison in there? doesnt anyone?!! those square cubicles with files piled ever so high, plastered with diagrams and notes. one step inside the office and u KNOW it is an OFFICE. no more. no less.

we should have offices that ARENT offices. Allow us to customize the place for goodness sake~. like those in pixar or whatever game studios u may have. i remember even seeing one having palm trees, sand, beach ball and etc for a workstation. if u step into an office like that… i don think u would be thinking its an office in the first place. and for dress code.. why in the world must it be formal anyways??? does it mean if i dress up in apek clothes i cant work efficiently? we are stuck in the office working our asses off anyways..its not like we are meeting clients day in day out. heck even if we are, formal clothes does not equal to better efficiency. didnt no one ever heard about don judge a book by its cover? everyone use that phrase… no one in the god damned world practice it i guess.

alas, such a thing is still light years away from us; if such a culture ever permeates through anyways. thats the life most of us will face for the next 30 years of slavery to the capitalist economy. and the life most of our parents will be encouraging us to go for. i have never seen parents encouraging their children to start a buziness, or to sing, be an artist and what have you. from young it was drilled into our pathetic brains: GET A FREAKING GOOD PAYING JOB IN THE FUTURE. that is why we have to labour years and years to fill our hard drive with ‘knowledge’. everyone craze over the future job roles. and how to help ‘guarantee’ that? get good grades of course~! and so u have ppl pushing their children to be doctors, accountants, engineers and bla bla.

we all have dreams no? dont you have dreams? have you never thought about your dreams? what u wished you could have become? pictured yourself in that role that u believe was meant for you? im sure we all have. i know i have. but why?! why didnt you go for what u wanted to become? why?! why didnt I go for what i wanted? why? what did we aim for? what did i aim for? questions questions… with pathetically predictable answers. cold hard cash. and with that, dreams are destroyed. crushed to oblivion. so distorted are our views, that we no longer see it. we all either chickened out, or brainwashed, or blackmailed into the current situation that we are in. no one ever said the right thing to do is the easiet way to go.

i like so many others, gave away a dream in the name of currency. i only need 1 person in my life to deny me that possibility. just one, and i would give up my dream. with the constant barrage of logic and persuasions, i sensed the wall ever so high. i couldnt even throw a pebble over it. but they can hurl boulders over my head. i could of course wage war against them. but a civil war would be out of the question. after all, wars fought against giants are wars lost from the beginning. i could of still forge ahead without a need of a war. but the coward in me thought better of it. to pursue your dreams, is to wade in uncertain waters. i wasnt strong enough to wade in it. i have not the strengh yet to defy the lords that ruled the realm. after all said and done, i still went for money.

there are times when i heard of ppl defying their parents to pursue what they wish to do. music. he actually went to further his studies in music against the will of his parents. and it was them who gave in. i wonder at that bargaining power he has. he was after all at their mercy for funding his education and yet he was able to decide which way the money should go. that thought never even went through my mind. to argue is to commit suicide. they need only to wage psychological blackmail against me and i would falter immediately.

my believe is when we give up what we wish to do for something more ‘practical’, its tantamount to selling our soul to the Devil. why? we sell our soul to the devil when we want something to come to us easy. this is no different. we chose the path that is easier to walk compared to fighting to reach our dreams. we don have to make a pact witht Devil to officially sell our souls. anyone of us who are wishing we could be doing something else has long ago sold our souls to the Devil in the name of Currency. i can only hope that one day, i will be able to snatch my soul back and dwell in the sands of Saqqara to unearth tomb of Imhotep and find the body of Cleopetra in the name of Isis.

god must be very kind to me… just the other day i logged on to friendster to blog about something…somehow rather it was a dumb blog…. so i scrapped it half way through just like the government decided to scrapped the ’scenic bridge’ … and coming to that subject… i’m still curious what is so scenic about the bridge or the surrounding… i mean it all looks cool and beautiful with the artist’s impression.. and may i remind you its already called ‘the ARTIST’S impression’. how in the world would that impression be not fantastically beautiful or what naught…if it isnt… i donno if that artist can even call him/herself an artist in the first place. but then since i only get to read news in a glance… cant say i know the full story eh… and the ’scenic bridge’ being a crooked one would inevitably increase the distance for the car to travel and therefore increase our fuel consumption… what are they trying to do? rob us of the little wealth we already have left??!! ahahhaah. not angry or anything…just wanted to say that..AHHAHAHA.

anyways, away from the scenic bridge of stupidome and moving into the topic of cycling. for starters, for most ppl, cycling is second nature to walking except maybe driving. its the the thing most ppl will be doing for most parts of their life when they hit primary school age. not for me of course. i have always been able to boast to the world that i have not even on single broken bone in my skeletal structure due to my meticulous safety observations throughout my life. i have constantly avoided activities that may increase my chances of injury and physical pain. that’s one the main reason i never joined any sports… afterall, its the one place where injury takes place most of the time. so no cycling, no chances of falling from the bicycle and risk bleeding knee or elbow and a whole lot of wailing.

and instead of suffering from physical injury and bleeding, my … lack of cycling skills… have drawn ridicule from all corners of the world. it never bothers me of course. but when u hear ‘HAH, U DONNO HOW TO CYCLE ONE AR?!’ for the millionth time… it does get a WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE bit tiresome. and so in order to ‘cleanse’ my self for the ‘SIN’ that i have commited. i decided to ‘atone’ for it five years ago; by learning how to cycle with my friends bike back when we were painting murals right outside the school. and behold! i have learnt the art and craft of cycling…not to perfection… but i can balance myself on the 2 wheeler and manage to travel up and down town with it. with it, i have graduated from ‘donno how to cycle’ to ‘cycle before’. and i must say i have never fallen from bicycle during my training (but then again, i was already form 4 then…. hahaha).

so anyways, after the mural thingie..bicycle was out of my mind..only cars was in it. i tot i wouldnt need to test my skills on the 2 wheeler anymore since im gonna take my licence anyways. but by the grace of our loving god(s) who is always caring for my well being (in this case to experience every living experience there is to experience) my sv was vehicle-less and we have to go the plant which is about 1.5 kilometers (cannot trust my judgement considering i have no sense of direction whatsoever) from my office. so how to get in? by a method invented ages ago of course~! Bicycle!

once again, i get the ‘hah’ expressioin when i told my sv i ‘might’ not not be able to cycle cause the last cycling stint…heck… my whole life’s cycling stint only lasted 2 weeks and that was 5 years ago. i was praying beyond all prayers that he will be so buzy that we will have to postpone again (it has dragged on for weeks mind you). but then that prayer was never meant to be answered… and we headed down to the bicycle shed (well, more like bicycle-park area) i naturally have to choose the dirtier one considering it is my sv riding it. and so i make the noble ’sacrifice’ and got the dirtier one (it has uncleaned bird droppings on he handle which was about 10 years old i think). after making some futile attempts to get rid of the bird poo~ my sv was all geared up and ready to go… and i; still struggling to even get the bicycle going…hahahha. i have truly forgotten the trick of riding the bike. and the stupid seat was so high and cannot be adjusted because i will then need a wrench; that i need to tip toe in order to balance the bike when i mount it. man, did it hurt~~~

my sv was clearly amused by how stupid i must have looked in trying to mount that pathetic bike and decided that he will have to go and of course don tell him not to just told him that i will catch up later. so after his 5 mins headstart, i finally got the bike moving and finally riding it. Ah, finally, i am able to ride the dumb bike again. by this time…he was about 100 meters ahead of me. man, i tot bicycle was suppose to be easy to ride and fast for that matter. as i inched forward little by little, by the law of realivitity or by my absolute lack of stamina, the lamp post seem to take forever to past.

halfway into riding the bike…i was already out of breath. my thigh muscles felt like they have been running for the marathon and was screaming with pain as lactic acid oozed into them.. burning their every fibre. my lungs were expanded to the maximum capacity with rapid intake of breaths and still to no avail… the lactic acid continued to pour into my already corroded muscle tissue. as i stopped at the first stop (the control room), i practically felt light headed and my hear drums began to hurt. its either not enough blood ka, or that im over pushing myself..HAHAHAHAHA. so anyways, i entered the control from lets say A. my sv was no where to be seen.

and so i continued my journey to control room B. and to reach this room, i will have to cycle past boilers and flaring towers (towers that just burns gas) that are 10 to 20 feet away. i mean, u would think nah, i wont feel a thing. heck, it wouldnt even cross your mind because that thought just never pop up. i was 10 feet away from the stupid boiler and i can feel the heat like i was right next to it! god it was hot! and the damned flaring tower was pracitcally 20-30 feet away from my by displacement and i can still feel the heat wave bursting towards me like waves of sonic blast. i wouldnt wanna walk that strech of road anytime soon. u can bet ur life on that.

after cycling for like an eternity to reach room B. my sv was again no where to be found. and being in a plant u cannot bring hp, so i got no means of contacting him and was left to wander what in the world he would be. i did consider cycling into the plant to find him but decided not to, my legs could barely hold my weight and my head felt lighter than ever. i can even feel the blood pulsing through my brain’s blood vessels. man, my heart must be working in overdrive. HEHEHEH. after all that cycling, i still have to cycle back. i did consider giving up, but that was never an option cause i will either cycling my ass back, or sit in the plant for eternity.

the trip back was an arduous one because my legs are already so weak i don even know how long they can hold up. and me being a beginner all over again grabbed the handle so hard that my hand muscles too became weak. and for the second time i passed room A and peeked into it with no sign of my SV. and so i cycled all the way out again. i nearly lost my balance a few times because either my legs or my hands suddenly gave up one me. a car had to avoid my by a huge margin considering how zig zag i was riding my bicycle. they may even pass a law disallowing drunk ppl to ride bicycles in the future…hahaha.

as i reached my office, i was practically bathing in sweat. i was totally soaked. i huffed and puffed for nearly an hour or so, drawing deep deep breaths all the time. my stamina must be horribly low. and u know what is twist of the story? my sv said he was in room A all along!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the fact i didnt see him was because i just glanced through the room and never really entered it. aih, what a waste of my body minerals and energy~~ man i dead tired… and i still got work to do …damn it!

Stroll down the street, waited at the bustling bus stop, stepped into the office… serenity. silence. peace.

i do not think i have experienced it for a long long time. it is like finally waking up from a dream and realise u are alone but u are happy with it. the fountain of youth was granted to me (okay, im not old.. but my mind definitely was) and i wasted not single drop of it. for the first time i actually sang in the streets (not loudly of course… i do not intend to invite a riot after me). that definitely was refreshing.

I will always remember and appreciate what god has given to me~ Hallelujah~!

it is never easy to write things that u want that can be read by others. afterall, ur thoughts are here in ur mind. only the ones that can see the light are translated into words, written down, and blogged for that matter. However, to blog, is to filter. To filter, is to screen away thoughts, words, ideas that will destroy you if they are known. Whatever that is available in public, is nothing but events and experiences you wish to share. a little disappointment is alright. positive vibes are vibrated throughout the world, the negatives ones are carefully contained lest it returns to haunt you.

its probably wise to not tell the world exactly what you think. even i thought that is practical. that is why for those who write, a diary is the most secret of all realms anyone can possess besides the mind itself. the mind concocts these ideas, these imaginations, these memories. and if you pay any attention to your mind at all u will notice that they replay themselves again and again and again. writting a diary is something like a pensieve. it does not leave u entirely of course, but it allows u to draw that thought out and examine it in a different way. it does in a way, allows your mind to be less crowded and overwhelmed by thoughts.

and that is why loneliness knows no prejudice. I do not know how many thought of this, but if you think u surround yourself with the entire world you will never be lonely… then u most probably are living in denial. the silence of the world will creep back to you in waves. the sounds and voices of ur fellow humans will slowly fade into nothingness. and that is when u stand alone, in the dark, or light for that matter. this is because whatever you do, your ”ghost" exist in your mind forever. it will never go away no matter what u do. no matter how much u try to escape. it will always find you.

in that silence you will only hear yourself. u will only hear your voice. to listen or not… will be entirely up to you. they say u can run but u cannot hide; for how can one ever hide from oneself? one can always deny, but one can never hide. There is always a reason when u are engulfed by that eerie silence. whenever it comes, it is time to listen to what it has to say. time to reflect on what it has to say. what it says may not be true; what it says may not be good; what it has to say may infact be what you have already known but never accepted. it is a mystery as to why loneliness can never be eliminated. maybe its because of all the things in the world, it is our mind that no one can fully understand. maybe its because of that, there is no one in the world to consult except yourself. there maybe questions with answers only found in each individual beings for no two answers may ever be exactly alike because no 2 humans are alike.

loneliness to me is both appreciated and feared at the same time. it is what has made me what i am today with the questions and answers i found from within it. But perhaps it is with the existence of conversations; the existences of laughter; the existence of bond that truly give birth the fear of loneliness. perhaps when one experiences the sights and sounds of the world outside, the eerie silence of the walls within are never visited. lay forgotten. ignored. because inside here, when u cry, there will be no one to hear you, no one to comfort you. when u laugh, no one will laugh with you. when u scream, no one can feel your pain. perhaps, the scariest thing about loneliness is the fact that you have to bear every smile, laugh, pain, sorrow, tears all by yourself. perhaps it is this overwhelming feeling, that we seek to avoid it whenever we feel it approaches us, we seek to forget it.

it is within us, it will always be with us, the ghost of us; loneliness.

it was 9.00 am, i just woke up from my slumber… and lumbered to the nearby grocery store to buy my daily bread (okay, weekend bread then). i reached home in less than 5 minutes (the store is just 2 mins walk) and took out the toaster and toasted me bread for my breakfast. no one was home, an eerie silent, empty. halfway through my bread, i realized that i was about to run out of marjerin. when i have toasted bread, i always have it with marjerin. so i walked over and opened the door. i saw this round tupperware lying around tupperware and opened it… well, it was nothing so i was about to put it aside when i have to struggle.

i kept pushing, pushing and pushing. but it wouldnt go, and all of the sudden, i felt my hand slipped and there was a bloody aftermath. RED EVERYWHERE. RED ON WALL, RED ON THE FLOOR…ITS EVERYWHERE! i stared at the room in horror… what should i do?!!!! it has gotten into fabrics…how the hell am i gonna clean?! but i must clean it! i cant leave it like that…i’ll use a mop..no, the red will stain it. a cloth, there must a cloth in this damned room. i’ll have to move the body first or not it will be oozing more and the cleaning can never end. after shoving it away, i have to painstakingly wipe every single thing that has be spattered red. the more i clean, the more cleaning i see i have to do. it just went everywhere!! i was driving me nuts. i poured the cleaning water and the tiles of the bathroom was stained red… it reminded me of how murder scenes looked like when they clean themselves off…no, im not a murderer… i am not!!! IT WAS AN ACCIDENT GOD DAMNED IT!!! IT WAS AN ACCIDENT AND THAT WAS IT!!! i turned away from the pool of red water and repeatedly wiped that room.

after an hour of cleaning, i finally finished cleaning the mess and smell horribly of garlic. for you see, the tub i thought was marjerin ended up was crushed chilli she (me landlady) kept for future use. and as i tried to put the cover back, it doesnt seem to close properly and i pushed a few times when the container broke and fell to the floor…sending red coloured chilli in all directions. it looked horribly like blood spatters when u bludgeoned someone to death! ahhaahhah. i was so much like an CSI scene…thats what made the scene a little eerie…because the red looked so much like blood. and the chilli got to everywhere..i spent so much time trying to clean off everything..but after i checked here and there…still got some spots left. hahahaha.

well, that was the event for today~

Innocence… we hear it all the time… used to represent purity of the soul. A soul without a touch of corruption. i wonder how many souls on earth remain within this category; or even near it as a matter of fact. i always wonder… how many of us think of us as ok humans. perhaps alot… i do not know. but why not the thought that we are corrupted? too harsh perhaps? perhaps. perhaps, no one wants to label themselves in such a way that they will be damned by others. perhaps most of us scorn the vileness of corruption… but yet, do not practice them to some extent? do we not practice the very corrupted actions that we condemn? just a thought… i am always wondering.

Innocence or corruption… which side would u choose to be in? From my experience, alot of ppl like to be the hero, defending justice and what naught. its not a bad idea actually, i mean, we all have imagination don we? what better role to be than a knight in shining armour saving the world from destruction… valiantly fought Evil to its end. so noble… such an honourable thought. if i were to choose… i would choose corruption. i would choose vileness. i would choose destruction. i would choose the greatest of all evil if there is one. so many would decide to be honourable… what use is it if the entire world is noble without any evil to fight? then the word noble would not exist in the first place. it wouldnt be any fun if all u have are the goodie two shoes strutting along the streets. i think without corruption… perhaps life would be a little boring to live.

There is also another reason for choosing corruption over that of innocence… it is in my opinion that for a corrupted person, there is so much more u can do. your imagination can run ever wilder in order to inflict pain and death. u can be ever so cunning just to get to ur goal and able to inflict a pain worse than death: betrayal. i just thought, i could use my imagination with so much more freedom. goodie two shoes have well frankly, really limited choice of action if u may. after all, ur actions must always conform to acceptable social norms…and there is only so much social norms that are acceptable that u can use to retaliate. i mean, look at the Geneva Convention…in a war; u cannot kill civilians, POW must be treated with respect, cannot torture … the list goes on and on (deep down in my heart, i thank the gods that there is such a thing). it just goes to prove my point.

well, I wouldnt even dream of doing anything like that in reality of course… hehehe… but when i get my hands on ‘Battle for Middle Earth II’ i wouldnt even think twice to raise my army of Easterlings to crush those pathetic goodie two shoes of Osgiliath and bring Minas Tirith to its knees… i will burn the forest of Lothlorien to the ground (well, i doubt the game has that burning ability… more accurately, i chop down all the trees..ahaha)… i will send my Ring Wraiths to destroy Gandalf the White before he even has the chance to cast the ‘Light of Istari’… MUAHAHAHAHHA…my my…. im getting too into this aren’t I? better get back to work…

the posh hotel awana kijal….for this week only i have already went 3 times in a row… first 2 days was to drive prof today was to attend POD Cipta Convention. its something like there are problems in the plant and everyone who is involved in teams to participate in this event to present their innovation problem solving skills and stuff. so anyways, awana kijal is a place is a place i never expected to hold so much surprises. the first of course was when Grace came to kerteh for some training stuff… so with pei yen around at time, so dpt lah tumpang her car to go and find Grace for makan makan sembang and watch ‘a bug’s life’ in her room..ahhahaa. another one is meeting a very old friend of mine which i have not contacted for 6-7 years.

i can hardly believe my eyes when i was in awana when we were visiting grace and we were about to go up the lift and poof~!! there he was striding out from it…at first i thought i couldnt be possible..then i knew yes its that fella~! in that split second it did cross my mind that its better not to greet cause he won even remember perhaps..but somehow rather, i felt god damn it…its fated that i would meet the fella here might as well greet in which i did. not to my surprise that he was equally shocked to see me again. of course, being awkwardly standing tehre, i introduced him to grace, pei yen and yin ping. they being in an awkward position went off in the other directin politely, while leaving me with the long lost soul i have just discovered again. that was certainly a happy memory, being able to meet a friend u tot u will not see again after 7 years.

anyways, this POD Cipta thingie is of course yin ping’s idea… i could careless of what is it actually about because since its a convention, i didnt think it would hold too much information for me to absorb. i was partially correct anyways. so the day before the POD Cipta thingie..we were discusing with our sv about stuff to include or exclude before we send the documents to the vendors to look at and do what ever checking that they need to do. suddenly out of the blue, ping asked me "eh chin ar, have u ever liked a girl before wan ar?" (this question was asked in such a way that the ‘ar’ gives a note of skepticism)… i don even know how to answer this question that i just smiled and laughed and diverted the question away by asking my sv why this formula in the cell is not calculating and such. hmmm…. i got nothing to hide, but i just don understand why in the world that question would even pop out of her brains. i wonder what in the world made her came to such a question…curious curious.

so anyways, today we attended the POD Cipta thingy. fracnkly speaking… i was about to dose off after an hour attending that convention… wellm its not that their presentation sucked or anything. its just that they mention the stuff so quickly i don even have time to digest what in the world they are trying to fix and why they need to fix it. but then i was half glad cause i got to eat all kind of pastries which i will definitely not be able to touch for the next 4 and a half months. we whallop the desserts first before we moved on to the rice and a stuff…after all, rice we can have anytime la…its the pastries that we will not be having..ehehehe.

the thing kinda reminded my of MAS. where we have performance and everyone laughed their heads off and stuff..but then this one not so nice la cause they incorporate all the stupid corporate agendas into it…so bit sien for me..bu still laughable. but the food was definitely nice… hahahaha. we came here with other intentions of course…=P

and so there it is… these 3 days felt like a holiday for me cause of the break from our usual schedules and such. hahahaha.